Wednesday, June 21, 2006

SMILE - and bring on the rain!

It is pouring outside. I woke to loud claps of thunder. Traffic was slow on the way to work. I'm holed up in my office.....and yet somehow I slept very well and I'm feeling so cheerful today.

I had the nicest evening last night! Some friends I graduate with at PBI were in town. I met them at the revival service of a nearby church and then we ate afterwards. There are several things that come to mind.

- It was nice to catch up with people and here how everyone is. I enjoyed reminiscing!
- It was a huge blessing to hear happy news about classmembers and see them do well.
- It was also awesome to be able to stand there and tell them how God has answered my prayers and I'm happy and where I should be.

The church service was interesting. It was the typical fundamental baptist service. I've grown up around those. They had the normal overzealous young song leader. Great congregationals. The cutesy little hand-holding couple who sang a special. The preachers patted each other on the back and the choir sang a southern gospel piece with an ellegant finish. I am not meaning to be critical... just observing. I used to think that the height of christianity was to have my own little smiling suited preacher boy and live in fundamental baptist world. There is nothing wrong with any of that and those people seem happy. To each his own. I've figured out though, that I'm different. I am not living the life that they plan out for you. I'm not the normal preacher's kid who gets married at 18, plays the piano, and lives for revival services. I'm almost 26. I'm single. I'm living on my own. I'm in college--and I LOVE IT! I have dreams of doing something for God myself. I want to be married and I want kids....but I don't want to fill a baptist mold. I want to be the person God wants me to be. I realize that a lot of that stuff ends up being an appearance issue. Emphasize testimony so much that a person's perception of you is the equivalent of your spirituality. Not for me. By virtue of my life's circumstances I've had to live a much more dramatic, deep, emotional and -dare I say- meaningful life than some. I am thankful for that. What I have considered to be sad and tragic - is a privilege that God is letting me become. A changed different strong person for him - that doesn't have to live up to any standard other than the bible I hold in my hand.

So today I stand thankful. Glad that God has used my life to open my eyes to want more than just the average life.

(and in parting I just have to say that my pastor is more interesting, challenging, convicting and encouraging in a study of Zecheriah or Ezra than any person I've ever heard. On Wednesday night we are compelled and chastened - and actually want to go out and obey the scripture. I cannot say that about 90% of the services or preachers I've endured. "Different" is GOOD. "Out of the ordinary" is a BLESSING!)

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